Divorce

The experience of Divorce is always hurtful in some way.
Some of us have been consciously working up to it for years; trying hard to make the marriage work, so we won't need to put everybody through such an experience. Others have been ignoring the disfunctional nature of their relationships, while the marriage - and all those involved - just limp along, unhappily.
If a marriage is really past the point of no return, if it's causing more damage than separation would, then it's healthier for everyone if you bring it to an end.
People who have been truly badly used within the marriage; perhaps experiencing violence and/or abuse; will need to have some help before they can straighten out their lives and the feelings they're stuck with. Their children will be in need of support too.
It's most important that after such an experience, there's someone to listen to you, without judgment.
One of the mistakes people today make, if they see someone divorcing, after their parents divorcing, is that somehow one has caused the other.
Well. I conducted research into this ten years ago. I was then invited to present a paper on this research to the Institute of Family Studies Research Conference in 1993. This research showed quite clearly that this assumption was wrong, as I knew it would. The numbers simply weren't there. If you'd like a copy of this research, please make contact with me. It's called 'Do Divorced Parents Create Divorced Children?'
As a result of my own experiences with the divorce of my parents and then myself (with four children involved) I've had three books published to help others, run courses for adults and children in this situation (and the professionals who work with them), and designed the first ever ceremony for divorced people.
I've long since put my life together, although I'd never pretend it's been easy.

If you'd like to read more about my books, click here
OR about the 'Another Life' Post Divorce Ceremonies, click here