Funerals & Bereavement Ceremonies
The funeral you choose is your first public
acknowledgement
that someone close to you has died. As such, it's crucial
that it be as 'right' as possible.
Choose your Celebrant carefully. Some people have
their
family Minister or Priest as the obvious choice at
this
time. But if the person who died was not 'religious' think of
their wishes. Would they like to have a 'religious ceremony'?
I always feel it's an awful imposition to have a church service
for someone who wouldn't have chosen this for themself, just because
it's 'traditional', or because guilt leads those left to feel
they 'should' do this.
A carefully chosen Civil Celebrant may be more
fitting.
You want someone who will come into the family home and spend
(usually) a couple of hours gathering information about the deceased
person's life, helping you search out the most appropriate Poetry,
Music, Prose pieces; the right person to say
something
about their dead friend, parent, child, other relative.
Someone
who'll check out everything they've written for the service beforehand,
to make sure there are no inadvertent errors. Someone who'll give
you a presentation copy of the ceremony (I always also offer additional
presentation copies, for a small fee, if other close members of
the family wish to have this for a remembrance).
Poetry has to be something meaningful. Something the
deceased
liked, for their own reasons. An offering of the family that expresses
the way they feel about this person, or about their loss. A poem
or prose piece about hope for the future. About the
person
who's died or for those left behind. The same goes
for
the music you choose. As a plus, I offer my own
original
poetry, as something unique for my clients, if they find something
appropriate in what I've written (of course I don't force them
on anyone - tastes in poetry are very individual).
I find it a very sad funeral service that doesn't have some of
the funny stories from that person's life in it and this is often
where other people's stories come in.
Think about symbols when you have a funeral. Flowers
to place on the coffin, or take from the coffin to keep at home;
Candles brought up as a symbol of the way your lives
have
meshed with those of the deceased person. Items that say something
about their life experience.
Will you be affronted if I say that I enjoy funerals? By this
of course I mean that, as a Civil Celebrant of many years, I experience
great satisfaction from helping people through this most distressing
time in their lives. No praise is higher to me than the thanks
I receive afterwards, from the families and friends of those I've
buried. And it's lovely to be contacted later to conduct a further
service - whether a funeral, marriage, naming, post bereavement
ceremony - for the same family.
A sample from testimonials about funeral services I've conducted:
'Beryl Good morning,
Let me thank you sincerely for conducting the service for Marj
at the parlour and graveside yesterday.
The format of the service was excellent and so personal that several
friends and relatives asked if you had known Marj, as the manner
in which you conducted the service was so personal and that is
what we had requested. We had asked the Funeral Director for someone
sincere and warm. He knew exactly who that celebrant
should
be and we thank him for that contact.
Regards ---- B. W.
Dear Beryl,
I want to thank you so very much for your kindness, understanding
and the help you were to me and my family. The whole experience
was rather beautiful in a way. I shall never forget you and your
name and phone number is in my diary.
With deep appreciation ----- L.M.
Hi Beryl
Just a note to thank you for your excellent support and guidance
through the planning of my mother's funeral service.
Everyone was impressed with your professionalism, particularly
my elderly aunt and uncle who are planning to go out in similar
style!
Do look after yourself. The world needs more people like you.
Kindest regards ---- J.M.
| © Beryl Shaw. |
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